If you have a child who has an eating disorder, then you are likely seriously overwhelmed and stressed out. The best way to deal with this is to accept that having a child who has an eating disorder is really, really hard. Of course you’re struggling! Don’t try to deny the difficulties or ignore the hardship. Instead, take good care …
Afraid, angry, and tired. Parents are at risk of traumatic stress when a child has an eating disorder
Eating disorders are terrifying for parents for many reasons. Not only are they physically and emotionally harmful for the child, but they also carry tremendous stigma and misunderstanding for parents. Parents who have children who have eating disorders may feel angry, stressed, tired, and obsessed with their child’s recovery. These are signs of traumatic stress that can lead to significant …
Moms: do you fantasize about being hospitalized? Is life one endless hamster wheel of suckiness?
“Sometimes I just wish I could be hospitalized,” says a 40-something mom. “Not with anything deadly, but something that would give me an excuse to drop out of life for a little while so that I can catch up.” Most of us have had this thought at some point. Or, worse, some of us even go further, and fantasize about …
Are you drinking to cope with your child’s eating disorder?
Many of us depend on alcohol to cope with daily life stressors. We have been raised in a culture that encourages drinking alcohol as a way to relax and enjoy ourselves, so is it any surprise that many of us reach for alcohol to celebrate, to relax, and to unwind? When we have a child who has an eating disorder, …
Taking care of yourself when your child has an eating disorder
No parent wants to see their child suffer. When our children have eating disorders, we can feel helpless, frustrated and even angry. Eating disorders are complex illnesses that require multi-faceted treatment. This treatment can be expensive, lengthy and, at times, appear not to be working. And many times parents feel they must just sit by, watching and waiting, paying and …
When you have an eating disorder … and your child does, too
With tentacles impacting us on emotional and physical levels, eating disorders are complex and tenacious. You may have struggled with an eating disorder for decades, or been in recovery for decades, or are just now recognizing your disordered eating patterns, but whatever your stage in eating disorder recovery, having a child who is also struggling makes the situation even more …
Dos and Don’ts for helping a friend who has a child with an eating disorder
We are writing this article in hopes that it will be discovered by and shared with the many extended family members and close family friends who want to support their friend who has a child that has been diagnosed with an eating disorder. These are just a few of the things to consider when supporting a friend who has a child with …
As our kids go through eating disorder recovery, we need to pay attention to our own needs as mothers, women, and daughters
When our children develop eating disorders, we tend to jump into action and place all the work on our own shoulders. Helping a child heal from an eating disorder can easily become all-encompassing, especially for high-achieving, perfectionist mothers. Many of us feel the need to scale back on our career goals and feel we have to sacrifice time with our husbands and other children …
Mothers are starving for affection, attention, support and love – let’s start getting what we need
Mothers are under immense pressure and perform under conditions of extreme isolation. It is no wonder that we struggle to mother our daughters. It is no wonder that we are often unable to provide the nourishment they need to thrive because we ourselves are starving for affection, attention, support, and love. We are exhausted and trying so hard to be perfect …
A self-care guide for moms who have absolutely no time for self-care and that go way beyond “take a bubble bath and light a candle”
If you are a mom who has a child with an eating disorder, then chances are good that you laugh maniacally when people suggest you care for yourself. How can you possibly care for yourself when there is so much to do?!?!? But the fact is that if you don’t care for yourself, you will burn out. It may be …
Are you heading towards an energetic crisis as you parent a child with an eating disorder?
Many parents live in a state of constant anxiety: Am I doing the right thing for my child? Am I doing the right thing for my marriage? Am I doing the right thing for my career? What will happen if … How will I handle … Will I ever … The voices in our heads are unrelenting and demanding of …
Mama, You Need Some Love!
Hey there, Mama! Have you been burning the candle at both ends? Trying to be superwoman? Trying to make everything perfect for your family? You may have heard, but in case you need a reminder, you need to STOP THE MADNESS! You cannot possibly accomplish everything you’re trying to accomplish without taking better care of yourself. Check out this video …
Why You Should Talk to Someone About How You Feel
I have yet to meet a parent who doesn’t get overwhelmed when thinking about all of the things necessary to steer the family ship. There is complex tactical coordination, like getting everyone out the door in the morning to figuring out sports, music and school activities. And, of course, it’s not just about the kids’ schedules – parents have their own schedules to …
Moms who have kids with eating disorders are at high risk for compassion fatigue
I was talking to a teenager the other day who has been hospitalized twice for anorexia. She is lovely. She was talking about her last relapse, and how much she needed her mom during that time. “I mean, I couldn’t even let her go to the bathroom by herself – I needed to be with her all the time,” she said. …
Parents: your feelings of guilt and shame will not help your child heal from an eating disorder
One of the biggest challenges parents face in supporting their children with eating disorders like binge eating disorder, bulimia, orthorexia and anorexia, is the blame, guilt and shame they feel about how their child’s illness reflects upon them as parents. As parents, we carry natural burdens when it comes to our children’s success and happiness in life. Our sense of burden can …