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For all of us who thought our purpose in life was

For all of us who thought our purpose in life was to be small and highly productive ... here’s another path😜

I still struggle to trust that my actual purpose is to be true to myself, since I spent so much of my life trying to look like and act like perfect people who don’t even exist IRL.

But I have noticed that the more I get to know myself and trust myself, the better life is for me and everyone around me.

Sending you unicorns rainbows, and worthiness today! 🌈💕

This is just a little reminder that we are in a ti

This is just a little reminder that we are in a time of global crisis, and cookies are not the enemy.
🍪
While parents should provide as much meal structure as possible and eat together whenever possible, we don’t need to obsess about our kids’ food intake. They may naturally gravitate towards comfort foods, and that makes so much sense.

If your child is truly eating far more or far fewer calories than they usually do, and if you are concerned that they have or are developing an eating disorder, then please reach out for help.

But if they are just eating more sweet, comforting foods, they will be OK. We can trust their bodies to guide them right now.💕

As we spend more time with our kids, and experienc

As we spend more time with our kids, and experience more anxiety, frustration and grief during this pandemic, it’s natural to fall into diet culture habits.

It’s normal to forget that our bodies are not machines that we control. They are literally us. We are not separated into minds and bodies. We are one.

Let’s regroup and try to remember to avoid diet culture during this pandemic and try not to share it with our children.

Because like the virus, diet culture is incredibly contagious and dangerous. Protect yourself and your family from fatphobia and diet culture💕

I went into recovery for my 30-year eating disorde

I went into recovery for my 30-year eating disorder +4 years ago. One year later, I stopped drinking because I saw it was slipping in as a replacement behavior.

Recovery for me means gradually learning to feel feelings rather than numb them. And it’s been really hard.

There are moments when I think back to my old coping methods and wonder if I want them back. Then I remember that my goal is to learn to accept the feelings that come along with being human. That is all.

If you haven’t read @glennondoyle new book Untamed, it’s a good reminder that life is hard and, as she says over and over, we can do hard things.

Sending you so much love in this messed up time💕

Almost all of us are experiencing high levels of a

Food is a wonderful, delicious thing. It is a nece

Food is a wonderful, delicious thing. It is a necessary, functional thing. It is not how we indicate our goodness. It is not something we should have to fear.

In these times of uncertainty, I hope we can find peace with food. Or at least neutrality.

But if we’re struggling, that makes so much sense. Self-compassion has never been more important, so gather it around and let’s speak to ourselves as we would our dearest friend.💕

It makes so much sense if eating disorder behavior

We’re all under a lot of pressure and stress rig

We’re all under a lot of pressure and stress right now.

If you have to go out to work today, I hope you can stay connected and safe.

If you have to work from home while partners, roommates, kids and pets distract you, I hope you can stay connected and safe.

If you feel trapped and terrified because you don’t know how you will survive without the income you expected, I hope you can stay connected and safe.

No matter what we face today, I hope we can stay connected and safe.💕

You guys, this sucks! I know how much parents are

These are uncertain and unusual times. And the cur

These are uncertain and unusual times. And the current generation of kids has more anxiety and depression than ever before.

And here they are - stuck inside, physically isolated from their friends, living through a pandemic.😬 And here we are - trying to make it OK.

Anxiety might look like checking our temperature every few minutes, reading the news obsessively, and constantly asking whether we’re going to be OK. It might look like retreating into silence or lashing out in anger. It might include binge eating, hoarding food, or not eating at all. All of these and more are valid expressions of anxiety right now.

Trying to soothe our kids’ anxiety is hard. Trying to do it when we are anxious is harder.

So instead of trying to make everything perfect and like normal, let’s focus on the little things we can do with our kids that we may not be able to do when things are normal.

Maybe we will bake a cake together. Maybe we’ll watch a show together. Maybe we’ll go for a walk together one day, and spend the next day working side by side at the dining table on our laptops.

The point is, some of us have the privilege of being together more than usual right now.

It can feel hard.

Our routines have been disrupted.

And there may also be unique opportunities to connect with our kids.💕

There are a lot of messages about not scrolling du

There are a lot of messages about not scrolling during this time of social distancing.

But I think it's worth remembering that some of us feel better (not worse) after scrolling.

The key is that we don’t necessarily need to stop scrolling, but we may need to make sure that our feeds are filled with kindness and love, not fear and comparison.

We are social beings. Let's not cut off every aspect of being sociable, but instead take this time to be intentional about how, when, and why we interact.

Personally, I really enjoy social media because my feed is filled with:
❤️people who believe that all bodies and all foods are OK
❤️emotional acceptance and encouragement
❤️cute baby animals
❤️awe-inspiring natural wonders
❤️comforting home decor
❤️artists making art
and other stuff that fills my need for eye candy, distraction, emotional connection, affirmation, and daydreaming.

And let's help our kids upgrade their social feeds, too!

Sending you so much love during this tough time💕

Ready to hang out indoors with some of my besties❤️
@tinapaynebryson @lizplankofficial @bodyposipanda @thefuckitdiet @chr1styharrison

I thought that if I ate just right and worked out

I thought that if I ate just right and worked out hard and weighed the “ideal” weight I would finally feel worthy. I would finally belong. I would be perfect and good. Better.

But that’s not how it works.

Food is not a path to goodness. Food is not the best way to show ourselves and others who we are. Eating to stay small does not save us from anything but a full, juicy life.

Eating disorder behaviors can easily mask the pain inside of us that pushes us to perform, to do things just right, to try and be good.

We can’t stop treatment at the behavioral level. We have to dig deeper to the emotional level and find out what the behaviors are doing for us. How are they serving us? How do they try to make us feel better?

Could we let them go if we learned that we are good no matter what we eat or what we weigh?💕

In a culture that believes "clean eating" is a sig

In a culture that believes "clean eating" is a sign of being pure and good, it's all too easy to hide an eating disorder.

In fact, eating disorder behaviors are considered virtues:
> not eating food you love
> eating less than you want
> not eating even when you are starving
> maintaining an exact body weight

I wish we would stop talking about food and food behaviors as if they are "good" and "bad." I wish we would stop complimenting people for maintaining their eating disorders.

Saving kids from body hate, disordered eating, and eating disorders can begin right now, at every table, in every home, if we would only forget what we have been taught about good and bad and instead embrace intuition and self-agency.💕

Diet culture tells us we can be successful only if

Diet culture tells us we can be successful only if we follow someone else’s rules.

But Intuitive Eating teaches us to listen to and trust our own selves.

Let’s throw the messed up patriarchal rules out the window and listen to our own damn selves. Let’s trust ourselves to know what’s best.
.
Full article and link to this research is in More-Love.org
.
Happy International Women’s Day ❤️😁

As a child, I was told to suck it in. And I was to

As a child, I was told to suck it in. And I was told to suck it up.

These two concepts - shrink your body and control your emotions - led to so much pain in my life.

I learned that my body as it existed was uncomfortable for other people to see. And I learned that my emotional expression was uncomfortable for other people to be with.

It seemed like I could control my unruly body and my emotions with my eating disorder.

Obsessing about my weight, starving, bingeing and purging were excellent ways to stay small and numb the emotions that I felt compelled to repress.

Recovery is not just about allowing my body to be the size it wants to be, it’s also allowing my emotional self to be the size it wants to be. In both ways - physically and emotionally - recovery has been about growing to my natural size.

For me, recovery is about learning to stop sucking it in and learning to feel safe and loved without restriction or repression.

I think the focus on the eating part of eating disorders sometimes misses the emotional causes of the eating disorder💕

Lots of people believe that the best way to preven

Lots of people believe that the best way to prevent and eliminate higher body weights is to shame and blame people for their weight.

This is based on the incorrect assumptions that 1) weight is within individual control; 2) there’s something wrong with higher-weight bodies. Neither of these beliefs is true.

Also, weight shamers should know that even if higher weight was by itself a “bad” thing (it’s not) they are not helping AT ALL.

Numerous studies have shown that weight shaming is not only ineffective at reducing/controlling weight - it’s counterproductive. People who are weight-shamed are more likely to gain - not lose - weight. It also causes terrible side effects like increased stress hormones, anxiety, depression, body hate, disordered eating, and eating disorders.

I’d love it if parents, educators, doctors and coaches would all stop weight shaming our kids (and all of us!) 💕

Those of us in larger bodies are frequently dismis

Those of us in larger bodies are frequently dismissed and questioned about the severity of our anorexia. It’s often suggested that we don’t actually have anorexia because we are not underweight by BMI standards (which are 💩 BTW). This is just a reminder to all of us and the people who treat us (doctors, therapists, nutritionists, etc) and the people who love us that eating disorders are MENTAL disorders, and that our body weight does not determine the severity of our disorders. In fact, a study found that total body weight was not an indicator of physical complications from anorexia.

The term “atypical” added to “anorexia” makes us feel less legitimate when, in fact, our disorders are just as valid and just as medically dangerous as lower weight anorexia. “Atypical anorexia” is just code for anorexia + weight stigma.

We have an article about this, including the research findings, on More-Love.org
💕
Source: “Predictors of Complications in Anorexia Nervosa and Atypical Anorexia Nervosa: Degree of Underweight or Extent and Recency of Weight Loss?” Journal of Adolescent Health, Whitelaw et al, 2018

In our fatphobic society, there is no way our kids

In our fatphobic society, there is no way our kids can avoid the cultural message that being thin is the most important thing they can do for their health.

This message is reinforced in the doctor's office, at school, and by coaches, peers, families and parents.

But this message is wrong, and it's causing more harm than good. Focusing on weight and worrying about weight is actually worse for health than believing that your weight is not a problem.

That's right. Just believing that you are acceptable and OK is better for your health than believing that you need to change yourself in any way.

Until the rest of our culture catches up, let's step up as parents and help our kids know that their weight is the least important indicator of health.

Let's help them build healthy behaviors like getting enough sleep, enjoying some sort of movement, and building meaningful relationships to avoid loneliness. And, finally, let's teach them to recognize fatphobia and weight stigma and know that they don't have to subscribe to toxic cultural ideals.

These health behaviors will make a positive impact on our kids' lifelong health. A focus on weight will also make an impact, but it's negative, not positive.💕

Let’s allow our whole selves to just be - to exi

Let’s allow our whole selves to just be - to exist in the world as is, without restriction, adjustment or refining or shaping or working on in any way.

Let’s talk to our kids about the beauty of all bodies, and point out the diversity we see in real life vs. the narrow beauty standards they see in their feeds.

Let’s encourage them to diversify their feeds. To let all bodies in. To see the beauty of every type of body.

Finally, know (really know) that we (and they, and everybody) are MORE than a body.

Accepting our beautiful bodies as they want to be may be one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.💕

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