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1-Hour Online Lesson: How to Deal With Weight Stigma
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Pay it Forward – Don’t Talk About My Child’s Weight Cards (please help us keep this going!)
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Online Course: Complete Guide to Parenting Eating Disorders Successfully
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We've all see the fear-based media about weight ga

We've all see the fear-based media about weight gain during this pandemic. And, of course, it's trickling down to our kids.

Pundits are afraid that kids are gaining "too much" weight during the pandemic, and say we should weigh all kids when they return to school to ... what? Prevent "obesity?"

Well, if the goal is weight loss, weigh-ins are absolutely not a method of reducing weight. If they were, everyone who owns a scale or visits the doctor (where we are almost always weighed) would lose weight.

But bodies don't work like that.

And, in fact, being weighed by strangers/authorities increases our stress hormones and can lead to weight gain (not loss).

We empower parents to scrutinize the facts and consider opting out of school weigh-ins. Almost all schools allow this. Full article is linked in bio.💕

A child’s deepest wish is to be truly seen, hear

A child’s deepest wish is to be truly seen, heard, and nurtured by their parent. When our child starts “acting up” and “driving us crazy,” we have two choices.

1. We can blame our child and give up.
2. We can look at our behavior and do what we can to improve the situation.

A great way to improve the situation is to learn non-defensive listening. When we respond to a child’s complaint with defensiveness, we cannot meet their fundamental need to feel loved and accepted.

Non-defensive listening is not something that we have to “master” or “perfect.” It’s OK to try our best and try again and again.

And it works really well when we have a child who is struggling with an eating disorder or other dangerous behaviors. There's very little we can do to directly "fix" our kids' problems, but there is a ton that we can do to create an environment in which they feel better and can thrive💕
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❤️full article - link in bio❤️

This applies when it comes to diagnosing and treat

This applies when it comes to diagnosing and treating eating disorders and almost every other medical condition. If you have a child who is female, who is of color, and/or who is living in a larger body, please learn about medical bias and become an advocate for your child in the healthcare setting. Also teach them to be their own advocate and to never accept stigmatizing healthcare. So many of us have experienced trauma at the hands of the very people who are supposed to be helping us. It's got to stop!💕
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The quote from Rachelle Hampton was published in @slate Aug 2018

Most of us do not need hospitalization or present

Most of us do not need hospitalization or present as terribly ill according to standard measurements of “health.”

In fact, many doctors will say we are “healthy” even as we engage in a massive battle with our bodies every day.

Eating disorders that don’t require hospitalization are valid and deserve treatment🌈💕

Wherever we are on the road to healing from our ea

Wherever we are on the road to healing from our eating disorders, it helps to remember this: it makes sense. And we deserve so much more love and understanding than we receive.💕

Bulimia may be the most uncomfortable eating disor

There is a certain level of victimization that man

There is a certain level of victimization that many parents who have kids who have eating disorders feel. Whether they realize it or not, parents often feel their child is making life difficult.

And while our kid’s behavior might indeed make life difficult, it’s important to recognize that all children want just one thing from us: love and attention.

Almost everything they do - every behavior, every word, every action - is in pursuit of our love and attention.

When we stop focusing on what’s wrong and instead seek ways to nourish our kids’ hearts and souls, healing gets easier.

I’m not saying this is easy. Most parents were never taught this, nor were we treated in a way that gave us these skills.

But we can heal. When we heal ourselves, our children will do better, too. Many times our kids’ behaviors are the best guidepost for where we still need to heal our own hearts.💕

Can we release our belief that bodies must be cont

Can we release our belief that bodies must be controlled?

The dominant definition of health is that bodies must be thin, white, and fall within narrowly prescribed parameters of appearance.

But this rigid definition of “health” is toxic. It’s negatively impacting our bodies. It’s creating the very diseases it says it’s trying to protect us from.

It’s driving little kids to diet and hate their bodies. It’s setting us up for eating disorders. It ignores the social justice issues that affect weight and health. If our vision of “health” is a thin white woman, we’re failing to recognize the vast majority of people.

Parents, we don’t have to protect our kids from getting fat. We have to protect them from fatphobia while also teaching them not to perpetuate it and to speak out against it 💕

I have some ideas about what I'd like to see in th

Our society is based on body hate and weight stigm

Our society is based on body hate and weight stigma. We experience fat shaming and fatphobia everywhere we go: in schools, on social media, at home, with friends, with the doctor … everywhere.

Feeling OK about our bodies is difficult in normal conditions. But coronavirus shelter in place has made body acceptance even more challenging for some. These are not normal conditions, and the opportunity for body hate is worse than ever.

If you are noticing that your child is feeling even worse about their body right now, you’re not alone. Our kids are hurting in so many ways, and many of them are displacing their fear, anger, and frustration onto their bodies.

We have an article with some ideas to help ... link in bio💕

We ran a survey in Stories and asked people for ex

We ran a survey in Stories and asked people for examples of how their parents food shamed them. The results were sad, but not surprising.

Parents who food shame their kids often think they are trying to improve health, but shame itself is damaging to health.

Shame can have a significant negative impact and is associated with eating disorders, substance abuse, and many behavioral addictions.
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If you are a parent and you’ve said some of these things - it will be OK! Just practice not doing it. We have recommendations in the full article - link in bio💕
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Thank you to everyone who contributed to our survey. Your (anonymous) words will hopefully help parents stop food shaming!

We have been told that we can't be trusted with fo

We have been told that we can't be trusted with food. That our kids can't be trusted with food. That, given a choice, we would all eat ourselves into oblivion if we don't control our eating.

But it's not true.

This is a dangerous approach to eating and health because it is full of shame.

Shame-based health practices are associated with eating disorders, disordered eating, body hate, anxiety, depression, and more.

Shame is far worse for our bodies than any food or number on the scale.

Parents can help kids grow up healthy by leaving shame out of food interactions.

These are just a few things we can think about when feeding our kids without shame. What would you add?💕

I know lots of Fourth of July celebrations are sca

I know lots of Fourth of July celebrations are scaled back or even canceled this year. But in case your family has an eating disorder in the family and is planning on gathering - even with a small group, please keep this in mind.

Food-based celebrations are usually a challenge for someone in recovery from an eating disorder.

While our disorders are not only about food, highly stimulating situations combined with food are often eating disorder triggers.

We have a full article about this if you want some help planning ahead. (Link in bio)💕

The biases around eating disorders are a serious p

The biases around eating disorders are a serious problem. As long as we only look for eating disorders in very thin white girls, we will continue to miss the vast majority of eating disorders, which are equally serious in people in larger bodies, male bodies, and nonwhite bodies. We’ve got to do better.

Doctors, nurses, teachers, counselors, therapists, coaches, and parents have all got to recognize that eating disorders are as diverse as our population.💕

A child who is in a larger body is going to face d

There are many paths to liberation from white supr

There are many paths to liberation from white supremacy and the patriarchy. These interlocked systems maintain power by claiming authority over our bodies and our lives.

One path to overthrowing white supremacy and the patriarchy is body liberation. We no longer have to believe or perpetuate cultural beauty standards, bogus BMI rankings, or the ridiculous idea that higher body weight is dangerous (fatphobia). Body hate doesn’t come from nowhere. It grows in a society that is systemically and chronically ill with white supremacy and patriarchy. This system has been ranking women’s bodies based on their color and shape for centuries. It is so powerful that many don’t notice it.

It’s been pitting us against each other. Judging us as worthy or unworthy based on how we look. And making us believe it’s true.

Our kids are suffering under the injustice of white supremacy and patriarchy. They are hating their own bodies and hurting themselves to try and prove themselves worthy of our messed up cultural “ideals.” We take these ideals for granted, but they can be overthrown.

It’s time for change. Let’s be the change.💕

When I checked with my teenage daughter about the

When I checked with my teenage daughter about the things listed here, she said “sure, but it’s not just one conversation, right?” Right. These things need to be repeated over and over to our kids.

Our culture tells them the opposite- that their value is based on how well they fit societal beauty ideals. But our society’s beauty ideals are racist and fatphobic.

So it’s up to us as parents to counterbalance societal messages with statements of acceptance and truth.

Be patient, and don’t be afraid to repeat yourself over and over, even in the face of eye rolls and “not again” statements.

Yes, again. Again and again, and again💕

There is significant weight and racial bias in sci

There is significant weight and racial bias in science. This bias means that parents need to be careful consumers of scientific media and health recommendations. Otherwise, we perpetuate weight and racial biases in our homes and pass them along to our children.

When consuming science media that links weight with health, we need to consider the following facts:
✖️We live in a heavily biased society.
✖️Our society favors thin, wealthy, white people.
✖️Scientists are people first (i.e. not immune to societal forces)
✖️We must assume that most science has weight and racial bias

It’s up to us to teach our kids to be critical consumers of all media, including scientific papers. Nobody will expose weight and racial bias in science for us.

Check out our article (link in bio) for a detailed deep dive into the recent American Cancer Society Guidelines for cancer prevention💕

There are so many ways to expose racism in our soc

There are so many ways to expose racism in our society, and one way is to talk about the racism in eating disorder diagnosis and treatment.

Despite significant evidence that Black people get eating disorders at least as often as white people, they are rarely screened, diagnosed, or treated appropriately.

The stats in these images are based on scientific research - please click the link in bio to view the sources.

Also, @nytimes published yet another article today centering the thin white narrative of eating disorders. Seriously. It’s time to center other voices!

We’ve got to do better💕

Posted @withregram • @workingmomkind 🙋🏽‍

Posted @withregram • @workingmomkind 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏿‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️
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