Weight gain during eating disorder recovery is not only expected, it’s often a life-saving sign of healing. But for many parents, seeing their child’s body change can stir up worry, fear, or uncertainty about what’s “normal.” And your child, most likely, is freaking out.

How you respond in these moments matters deeply. Your words and actions can either reinforce body shame or help your child feel safe, supported, and loved. In this article, we’ll guide you through how to respond with compassion, avoid unintentionally harmful comments, and stay focused on what truly matters: your child’s health, recovery, and self-worth.

Recovery weight gain

If your child is in eating disorder recovery, you may be noticing they are gaining weight. Sometimes you are prepared and even desperately want this. If your child has been dangerously weight suppressed, then, of course, you want them to gain weight. But for many parents who have kids in recovery, there comes a time when they worry their child is now “swinging the other way” or “going too far” in recovery.

That’s what happened to Kari and Ian. Their daughter Bailey is in recovery for anorexia. After hospitalization, she went into residential treatment. She did well, and Kari and Ian implemented Family-Based Treatment (FBT) while Bailey gradually stepped down from full residential to lower levels of care.

“I read all these stories about kids not recovering, so I feel really lucky that it seems like the treatment worked really well for Bailey,” says Kari. “But the truth is that now I’m a bit worried. Bailey’s weight has passed the point of where she was before the eating disorder. Her doctor seems a little concerned, but her therapist and nutritionist assure me that this is how it should be. I’m pretty confused and just want to do the right thing.”

Restriction and eating disorders

Almost all eating disorders begin with dietary restriction. A child can be anywhere on the weight spectrum when they start the cycle of an eating disorder. Due to a cascade of physiological factors, the restriction can beget more restriction. For many others, it leads to a restrict-binge cycle. Either way, the body and brain are not receiving the nutrition they need to maintain “homeostasis” or a steady weight.

Once in the cycle of most eating disorders, the person may become increasingly food- and weight-oriented. They find themselves thinking about eating or not eating many times per day. They may plan exactly how to avoid eating or what to eat next. Rules and restrictions take over their lives, leaving little room for anything else.

Most eating disorders begin with a diet. Whether your child remains in the restrictive phase (anorexia), or cycle between restrict-binge (binge eating disorder) or restrict-binge-purge (bulimia), restriction is a core behavior. 

Multi-layered disorders

While this is happening, most* bodies respond by slowing down the metabolism to meet the unstable access to food. The body does not like weight loss or unstable food supplies, so it triggers a famine response in which the body becomes extremely efficient with every nutrient and calorie it receives. This is why most efforts to lose weight result in regain, often with some extra pounds to protect against the next famine.

*In people with anorexia, their bodies may go into hyper-metabolism, which can remain a symptom for many months following weight restoration.

Why is my child gaining weight?

This effect can also happen with an eating disorder. Even after recovery, the body can continue to run slowly and hold onto calories and nutrition in an attempt to avoid the deadly impact of famine. Many people accept that they carry extra pounds in eating disorder recovery simply because their eating disorder triggered their body’s famine response.

While this can be challenging in our anti-fat society, it’s a necessary part of recovery for many people.

If your child is gaining weight during recovery from an eating disorder, it is because weight gain is a natural and physiological natural response to the restriction they endured. Your child’s weight during recovery may fluctuate wildly as the body recovers a new state of homeostasis.

How much weight will my child gain during recovery?

Weight gain during recovery depends on how big of a factor weight was in your child’s eating disorder, how long your child has struggled with an eating disorder, his or her individual metabolism, the total weight lost and gained throughout the eating disorder, the number of weight cycles, and more. These factors will combine to make each recovery journey unique.

Because most eating disorders involve restriction, recovery often includes weight gain. Recovering bodies need to return to a natural weight and will likely add pounds in response to the restriction endured during the eating disorder. It is impossible to estimate your child’s recovered weight, especially since it may take years for your child’s body to settle into a new “normal.”

What you must know is that once recovered, no number on the scale will ever measure your child’s health. Full recovery from the eating disorder, not body weight, will dictate your child’s health and the likelihood of a successful, meaningful, and joyful life.

It can be uncomfortable

The good news is that your child’s weight, with proper eating disorder treatment, will eventually stabilize. The bad news is that your child’s new weight may make you uncomfortable. This is why you need to work on your own biases about body weight and food restriction.

• Do you believe low body weight is a sign of health?
• Do you believe that your child can only be happy and successful in life if his or her body meets a narrow societal standard of body size?

These are the questions that Kari and Ian had to consider as Bailey gained weight.

“Our primary goal, of course, is for her to be mentally healthy,” says Kari. “Of course, we don’t want the eating disorder coming back, so we’re going to be vigilant about not allowing restriction and dieting anymore. We’ve gotten rid of all our diet foods and are careful about how we talk about food and weight now. But the truth is that we still struggle with the idea of gaining weight. I guess it was just so ingrained in us, as kids of the 80s, that thin is best. I’ve been watching my weight my whole life. This is a major shift for us.”

This makes so much sense. Weight gain is a challenging issue in our society. When a family faces an eating disorder, our cultural weight biases become critically important. We have to evaluate how and where they seep into our beliefs and thoughts and work to overturn them.

That’s what Kari and Ian are working on now. “I can see that we still have a lot of work to do about our own weight biases,” says Kari. “We’re working to understand weight science and accept our own bodies and Bailey’s. It’s not easy, but her life and health are worth it to us!”

Is it ever too much?

Now that you understand that weight gain is a natural and healthy part of eating disorder recovery let’s just consider if there is such a thing as “too much.” I believe that most of the time weight gain makes sense during recovery, but since an eating disorder can swing between restriction and binge eating, weight gain can sometimes (not always!) be a sign of an ongoing eating disorder.

Unless your child’s doctor is an eating disorder specialist, I take any concerns they have about weight gain with a grain of salt. Unfortunately, our healthcare system has a lot of weight stigma, and most doctors don’t understand eating disorders. On the other hand, I would do a quick check-in with your child’s dietitian and therapist.

What I would ask the dietitian:

• Are you still focusing on a weight gain goal?
• Is the current weight gain unexpected?
• Are we on track to guiding our child toward an Intuitive Eating approach?
• Do you have any concerns about my child’s weight gain?

What I would ask the therapist:

• Do you see signs of reduced or increased food obsession and compulsion?
• Do you believe my child is still actively in an eating disorder?
• What skills are you teaching that we can reinforce at home to support recovery?

Kari and Ian took these questions to Bailey’s therapist and nutritionist, and they felt greatly relieved. “Both of them explained in detail the signs of recovery that they were observing and what they were still looking for,” says Kari. “They were confident that Bailey’s weight would even out over time and that any gain at this point is not a sign of a new or different eating disorder. I feel so relieved, but we still have work to do on our own feelings about her recovered body. I know this is for us to work on and has nothing to do with her. So we’re working on it!”

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Ginny Jones is the founder of More-Love.org, and a Parent Coach who helps parents who have kids with eating disorders.

For privacy, names and identifying details have been changed in this article.

See Our Eating Disorder Treatment Guide For Parents

Deciding whether to send your child to a residential eating disorder treatment center is one of the hardest choices a parent can face, and the standard questions aren’t always enough.

While it’s important to ask about credentials, therapy types, and meal plans, the most meaningful insights often come from the strange, uncomfortable, and overlooked questions—the ones that get to the heart of whether a program will truly meet your child’s emotional, psychological, and relational needs.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through the unexpected but essential questions that can reveal how a center operates, how it treats families, and whether it’s the right environment for your child’s recovery, not just on paper, but in practice.

Interview with John Levitt, PhD

I often get calls from parents asking me about how to get their child into a (usually inpatient or residential) eating disorder treatment program, but I almost never get calls from parents who want to know how they can avoid sending their child to a treatment center.

I think many parents assume that a treatment center is the only option for their child, but that’s often just not the case. There are definitely times when an inpatient or residential treatment center is the best option for their child’s eating disorder recovery, but it’s important to know that the potential costs for sending one’s child to a treatment center (financially, personally, and socially) are possibly very high — and relapse rates can also be very high as well!

Treatment centers are run by good people who are generally doing good work. That said, treatment centers are businesses, and you as parents are the consumers. Don’t be afraid to be a smart consumer. Ask a lot of questions. Ensure you understand what you are getting into. That is, make sure you know what you will be paying for and what outcome(s) you can expect. Parents should become the experts on what they are “buying” before taking the leap to send their child anywhere!

First, it’s important to know what treatment centers can – and can’t – do. Treatment centers are places where your child can stabilize his or her eating disorder symptoms. Their weight will hopefully improve and likely stabilize and their eating disorder symptoms will likely be reduced or even eliminated completely while they are staying at the treatment center.   Associated symptoms of depression and anxiety and so forth are also likely to improve.

That said, when they get home, they are faced with the same life stressors and conditions that may have at least bred the eating disorder, or minimally, were associated with the eating disorder prior to going to going to treatment!   Once home, this is where the true treatment begins. Your child needs to learn to live with a sense of self-worth and self-efficacy that is enduring and resilient across people, places, and situations — and they often won’t find that in a treatment center. You just can’t practice all of the requirements of life in a controlled setting. Full treatment does not happen in a program, it happens in life.

I recommend that parents ask treatment centers a variety of questions such as: how long does it usually take to stabilize a child’s eating disorder(s) (including issues related to mood etc.), how will the treatment center ensure that you, the parent(s), are an essential part of the treatment, and how will the treatment center prepare your child, and the parents, for the child’s return home — ensuring the maintenance of their treatment gains.   In addition, even at admission or pre-admission, parents should ask about what will be needed upon the child’s return home; after completing that treatment. That is, what will your child need following their stay at the center? You should not receive vague answers to any of these questions because they are critical to efforts to achieve full recovery.

I understand how frustrating it can be to have a child who has an eating disorder at home. I understand the desire to send the child “away” to get better because you just don’t know what else to do. But I would be very judicious about sending one’s child away. As long as your child is going to return home to the parent, that parent is going to need to get his/her own tools and support to continue the healing process.

Parents need to be educated, supported and trained to support their children in healing from an eating disorder. Some treatment centers build that into their programs. Ask them about it.  Make sure that they will involve you and make up your mind to be involved!

Also, don’t be afraid to ask about the costs involved. Many eating disorder treatment (e.g., residential) centers are running 60 days. That’s a long time for your child to be away from home and away from school. It’s can also be about $60,000 plus. That doesn’t take into account post-center treatment. That can be equivalent to your child’s college tuition.

I don’t want to discourage parents from using inpatient or residential treatment centers. I just want parents to understand what is involved in some types of treatments, carefully review the alternatives, if any, and enter treatment with realistic expectations and get their questions answered! It’s important for parents to be really clear about what is realistic to expect.

John L Levitt, PhD, CEDS, FAED, FIAEDP, is the co-editor of the book, Self-Harm Behavior and Eating Disorders: Dynamics, Assessment, and Treatment, and was on the Editorial Board of Eating Disorders: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention Email: levittj@aol.com Phone: (847) 370-1995

See Our Eating Disorder Treatment Guide For Parents

Have you thought about getting your child with an eating disorder an emotional service dog? This can be a great idea, especially for dog lovers! Dogs provide unconditional love and affection as well as powerful emotional regulation assistance. That said, it’s important to think through the idea carefully. Dogs are our best friends because they become deeply emotionally attached to their humans. Getting a dog is a serious commitment, especially if you’re asking the dog to provide your child with emotional support.

Before getting a service dog during eating disorder recovery

If you’re looking for a dog that will actively support your child’s emotional health, it will require daily training and effort. Keep in mind that getting a standard family dog is great, but without emotional service training, the dog may have little to no impact on your child’s emotional health. To maximize the power of their bond, you child should be the one training and caring for the dog. If your child is not interested in having a dog or is incapable of caring for it and working with a trainer, you may want to reconsider.

Even if you are 100% sure your child with an eating disorder wants and can care for the dog, it’s still important that everyone in the household is onboard. If someone in the family is allergic to or intolerant of dogs, then come up with another idea. Make it clear that if the family agrees to get a dog, there is no going back. Having a dog is a commitment for that dog’s life.

Finally, consider finances. Dogs require training, vet care, food, toys, bedding, and other accessories. It’s difficult to anticipate vet expenses, and they can get pricey. If your family is on a tight budget right now, you may want to think carefully about whether adding the expense of having a dog is the best choice.

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Free Guide: How Parents Can Help A Child With An Eating Disorder

Master the secrets to supporting a child with an eating disorder. Thousands of families like yours are stronger today because of these six vital lessons drawn from lived experience, best practices, and extensive study.

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Training a service dog for eating disorder recovery

All dogs are wonderful, but if you’re looking for a trained service dog, that typically involves training. In fact, training a dog to provide support and service can take anywhere from six months to two years, and then needs to be maintained consistently. Far from being an impediment to the decision, the structure and requirements for training a service dog in eating disorder recovery may be a benefit to your child’s treatment.

Of course your child’s treatment team should weigh in, but for many people, having their focus on training a dog rather than ruminating and obsessing over their eating disorder thoughts can be very helpful. In fact, focusing on their furry friend’s needs and learning the emotional regulation skills necessary to train a service dog can be invaluable to eating disorder treatment.

Training a therapy dog varies depending on the dog’s breed, temperament, and the tasks it’s expected to perform. Generally, the training process lasts between 6 months to 2 years, with ongoing maintenance. It involves various components such as socialization, obedience training, and learning specific tasks that aid in providing comfort to your child. These tasks range from keeping calm in noisy environments to gentle, responsive interaction when your child is stressed.

The importance of consistent and comprehensive training cannot be overstated since it is essential in preparing therapy dogs to competently handle the responsibility of offering comfort and support to your child when they need it.

What is an emotional support animal (ESA)?

In most cases, the technical term for this sort of dog is an “emotional support animal” or ESA. Generally an ESA has much less training than what’s called an “assistance animal,” which includes guide dogs for people who are blind, signal dogs for people who are deaf, and service dogs, which alert people who have seizures and other conditions.

In contrast to the more formal designation of assistance animals, any dog can be called an ESA. If you need the dog to be formally recognized as an ESA, for example if you need to be able to travel with the dog or need landlord approval for owning a dog, you’ll need the following:

1. Get an official diagnosis from a licensed mental healthcare provider
2. Request an emotional support animal (ESA) prescription. This is typically a letter from your provider that states you need an emotional support animal.
3. Keep the prescription/letter on-hand in housing and travel situations.

Keep in mind that if this dog is providing emotional support for your child with an eating disorder, it is taxing work. Getting proper training for the dog and your child is essential to maintaining workplace safety for the dog. It’s worth it, because a happy, secure dog will be able to better support your child’s emotional needs.

Dogs as emotional support companions

There is significant evidence that dogs are excellent emotional support companions. This is important in eating disorder recovery, because eating disorders are complicated emotional disorders, and they require a multi-pronged emotionally intelligent approach. While professional support and family support go a long way, a dog or other beloved pet may make all the difference in the moment-to-moment recovery moments.

A relationship with a dog can build a safe connection. This connection can cause a release of oxytocin, which positively impacts emotional security. Interaction with a dog can also lower cortisol (stress) levels. These combined actions make connecting with a dog deeply healing for a person who is in recovery from an eating disorder.

Listen to this Podcast for more: Oxytocin, dogs, & pets in General as attachment figures, Therapist Uncensored episode 95

Dogs offer companionship, reduce anxiety and loneliness, increase self-esteem, and improve overall mood.[1] Dogs have also been shown to increase the following behaviors, which reduce depression and anxiety:

• Physical activity
• Time spent outdoors
• Sense of agency and autonomy

Studies have even shown that a single 12-minute visit from a dog among hospitalized patients with advanced heart failure produced small but significant health improvement.[2]

Care guidelines

A dog can be a great way to give your child a sense of agency and accomplishment. But to do this you really need to set up clear expectations about the dog before you get it. Vague expectations will have a double negative effect. First, you will get frustrated and resentful if your child fails to take care of the dog. Second, you child will feel ashamed of themselves and frustrated with you for not being clear in advance. These are not great outcomes, especially on top of an eating disorder. So clarity going into the dog process is key to success. At a minimum, your child should commit to the following caregiving tasks:

• Maintaining a clean water bowl
• Feeding the dog 1-2 times per day
• Walking the dog at least twice per day

Feeding may be as simple as putting a cup of kibble in a bowl. But some dogs have digestive problems, which may require a special diet. In such cases, your child may need to prepare simple foods for the dog, such as boiled chicken and rice. You won’t know these details until you live with the dog, so it’s best to be prepared for all possibilities.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Free Guide: How Parents Can Help A Child With An Eating Disorder

Master the secrets to supporting a child with an eating disorder. Thousands of families like yours are stronger today because of these six vital lessons drawn from lived experience, best practices, and extensive study.

Get Your Free Cheat Sheet

Additional dog care requirements

Your child will also need to clean up after the dog. This means daily poop-duty. There’s also the likelihood of random vomiting, diarrhea, and peeing-in-the-house accidents. These are unpleasant but expected aspects of dog ownership that your child should be aware of and agree to handle.

Grooming varies based on the type of dog you get. If the dog is going to be inside your home, you should require your child to bathe the dog every few weeks and brush it daily. These duties may increase if the dog is prone to shedding.

Some dogs develop barking or other bad habits that your child will need to address through research and training. Almost every negative habit can be addressed. But it will require your child to learn some new skills. This can actually be a great thing for a child who is in recovery for an eating disorder.

Create a care plan for the dog before you bring it home. Set this up as a contract between you and your child. Print out the care plan and have your child sign and date it to affirm the care they will provide the dog. Importantly, do not step in and take over the care for your child’s dog unless they become physically incapable or specifically abdicate responsibility. Remember that your child’s care of the dog will translate to a deeper bond between the two of them. You also don’t want to step in because it remove the benefits of agency and feeling useful that come from caring for an animal.

Picking a dog

You may be interested in a particular breed of dog or you may want to adopt a rescue dog. Many children/teens respond very positively to the idea of rescuing a dog that has been abandoned.

While almost everyone thinks they want a puppy, the reality is that puppies require a great deal of care. This will not work well in a busy family with multiple commitments, especially if everyone is gone all day. Instead of a puppy, consider adopting a fully-grown 2-5 year old (or even older) dog. You can work with a trainer who can help you select an older dog that they can train.

Benefits of getting an older dog for eating disorder recovery:

1. You avoid the puppy years, which, though adorable, are also very disruptive. Just like having a baby, having a puppy includes frequent bathroom accidents and hyperactivity. Puppies need training for basic skills like house training, walking on a leash, behaving well around other dogs and children, etc.
2. You can observe the dog’s personality and behavior as it will be for most of its life. Puppies are bundles of energy. It’s only after they hit about two years old that they achieve the steady personality you can expect.
3. You can observe whether your child has a connection with a particular dog’s personality. Dogs are just like people – they all have a unique personality. You want to find a dog that will fit into your child’s (and your) life.
4. Chances are good that your child will leave home soon. Adopting an older dog means that your child gets the benefit of having an animal. But you aren’t left taking care of it for a decade after your child leaves home.

Other considerations when choosing a dog

In addition to the type and age of the dog you get, you should also take into consideration some other key concepts:

1. Size: remember that puppies grow into full-sized dogs. If you live in a smaller home or apartment, take your dog’s size into account and consider whether they will (literally) fit into your life. If you travel frequently or move every few years, remember that it is generally easier to have smaller dogs. Larger dogs are more expensive to feed, travel with, and can be harder to board. Rental properties also often have size limits on dogs.
2. Energy: different dogs have different energy requirements. Realistically consider how much time and energy your child can devote to exercising your dog, and choose accordingly. Older dogs generally need less exercise than younger ones, and smaller dogs generally need less exercise than larger ones. Dogs tend to get into trouble – such as digging through trash cans, barking all day, and chewing expensive furniture – when they are under-exercised.
3. Intelligence: most people assume they want a very intelligent dog, but remember that most highly-intelligent dogs require mental stimulation in addition to physical exercise. Working dogs like Australian Shepherds, Huskies, and Border Collies may develop negative behaviors if they don’t get the stimulation they need to avoid boredom.
4. Health: some purebreds have a tendency to develop certain health conditions. Whenever possible, become aware of the weaknesses of your breed before making your choice. Also be sure to check the credentials and breeding history of your breeder.
5. Grooming: some dogs require specialized grooming and care. For example, Pugs, Maltese, ShiTzus, and others require regular grooming that can get expensive if you don’t learn to do it yourself.
6. “Aggressive” breeds: there is quite a bit of bias against some of the dog breeds that are considered “aggressive.” These include Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, German Shepherds, and Dobermans. While these dogs can all be wonderful companions, you should know that it may be harder to board, groom, and get dog walkers and other caregivers for your pet. These breeds are also more likely to be prohibited in rental homes and apartments.

Top emotional support dog breeds

Most dogs are naturally adaptable and likely to bond well with your child. However, there are certain dog breeds that are particularly likely to provide the deep emotional connection that will support your child’s recovery from an eating disorder. The following ten dog breeds are commonly considered to be the best temperamental fits for emotional support:

1. Labrador Retriever
2. German Shepherd
3. Poodles
4. Yorkshire terrier
5. Beagle
6. Corgie
7. Pug
8. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
9. Pomeranian
10. Golden Retriever

Just a reminder on the point we previously made, many of these dog breeds are high-energy in the first 2-5 years and can add significant stress to your household.

Labrador Retrievers, for example, are wonderful dogs, but there are a lot of them in the shelters and adoption system due to their high-energy, sometimes destructive behavior in the first few years. This holds true for almost all of the dogs listed here and mixes, such as Goldendoodles and Labradoodles. They are wonderful dogs, but if you do choose a puppy, be prepared to invest significant time and energy in training and exercising them.

Bonding

Once you have selected a dog, help your child bond with the dog by insisting upon the care plan. Try to avoid stepping in to take care of the dog.

Caring for the dog, even when it is inconvenient, is part of your child’s therapy plan. Caring for an animal provides a sense of ownership and agency. Your child will benefit from sticking to the care plan.

Support your child in building their bond with the dog. Support their interest in training ideas, grooming lessons, and even getting the dog certified to be a therapy dog. Doing this will mean the dog can visit sick people in the hospital or elder-care facilities.

Of course, if all your child wants to do it lie around petting the dog or taking selfies with the dog, that’s OK, too!

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Ginny Jones is the founder of More-Love.org, and a Parent Coach who helps parents who have kids with eating disorders.

See Our Eating Disorder Treatment Guide For Parents

For information about dogs available for adoption, what to think about before adopting, and more, visit Petfinder.com

References

[1] Dhruv S. Kazi, Who Is Rescuing Whom? Dog Ownership and Cardiovascular Health, Circulation: Cardiovascular Quality and Outcomes, Oct 2019

[2] Cole KM, Gawlinski A, Steers N, Kotlerman J. Animal-assisted therapy in patients hospitalized with heart failure, American Journal of Critical Care, 2007

People with eating disorders often find it helpful to do yoga poses like crocodile. Yoga can be a soothing eating disorder treatment that you can do in the comfort of your own home. It’s effective because eating disorder symptoms often include a dissociation of mind and body, and yoga brings them together. Your child should have a number of tools available for managing anxiety, and one of those tools may be a few simple yoga poses that can help ground and center your child.

Yoga has been shown to be an excellent auxiliary treatment for eating disorder recovery. Many people with eating disorders disconnect their minds from their bodies. They learn to ignore our body’s natural communication, needs, and desires. Yoga can be a great way to gradually reconnect the mind-body signals.

As a parent, having a few simple yoga moves to do with your child while they are in recovery can be a great way to help them make the mind-body connection. It’s also a great way for you to connect with your child, which is so critical to the healing process.

Makarasana, or Crocodile Pose, helps to facilitate diaphragmatic breathing (also known as belly breathing) by immobilizing the chest. When you engage in “belly breathing” you facilitate a relaxation response in the body, which makes this pose excellent during times of stress and anxiety. This may also be a great pre-meal pose to help your child get grounded before going to the table.

Here’s how to do it:

1) Lie on your belly and rest your forehead on your hands.
2) Mindfully breathe into your belly.
3) Stay here anywhere from 30 secs to 5 minutes.

Pretty easy, huh? You can even do this while sitting at a table or desk. Build your toolbox of coping behaviors throughout eating disorder treatment to support your child into recovery.

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Ginny Jones is the founder of More-Love.org, and a Parent Coach who helps parents who have kids with eating disorders.

See Our Eating Disorder Treatment Guide For Parents

Art therapy is frequently used in treating eating disorders because it’s a great way to help people express their feelings. Most people who have eating disorders repress dark feelings like sadness, anger, frustration, and jealousy. But these feelings are all a natural part of being human.

In recovery, a person must learn how to process these negative feelings without using their eating disorder behaviors to cope. Art therapy is one way to help people who have eating disorders tap into these deep unexpressed feelings.

When a child is struggling with an eating disorder, they are also struggling with self-worth, emotional instability, depression, moodiness, and anxiety set amongst generalized adolescent angst. As a parent, it can be very challenging to handle all of those feelings and contain them.

But the good news is that we don’t have to contain our children’s feelings. We just need to help them find healthy ways of expressing their feelings, while simultaneously seeking professional support as needed. But, of course, professional support is limited – we are the ones who actually live with our teenagers day-to-day, seeing their ups and downs, and struggling to find equilibrium in the face of constantly changing emotional states.

Art therapy toolbox for parents

There are professionals who are trained and experienced in giving kids art therapy. Of course this does not replace those important and trained professionals. But parents don’t have to be therapists or artists to support kids in recovery. Instead, we just need to build a toolbox of things we can do with our kids to support them in feeling and expressing their emotions.

And while many parenting toolboxes are virtual and have more to do with mental exercises, this time you get to create a physical toolbox of art supplies. Here are some things you want to have on hand … maybe you have some of these left over from your kids’ childhood!

• Paper, canvas, wooden boxes, cardboard shapes
• Pens, pencils, markers, paint, glue, paintbrushes
• Felt, buttons, sequins, glitter, fur, googly eyes
• Collage images (e.g. words, nature, shapes) from magazines

Whether your toolbox is simple or elaborate isn’t as important as the fact that you have art supplies ready to go.

Dive in

Even if neither of you is artistic, the act of putting color on paper can be very therapeutic. When tested with cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy, weekly art sessions improved depression. In other studies, making art has been proven to provide a sense of control to patients with mental illness. Making art helps our kids with self-expression while enhancing coping skills, reducing stress, and boosting self-confidence.

Art therapy doesn’t have to be stuffy or skilled. Even the most basic art skills can become a powerful form of self-expression. Remember when your kids were small and you would pull out the craft box for them? Reinstate that activity, perhaps once a week, and just sit down with your children and some paper, colored pencils, paints, and anything else you have. Work side by side.

This doesn’t have to be “heavy” or “therapeutic” – just enjoy the act of making art together. You don’t have to talk about eating, not eating, anxiety or depression. Just be creative and enjoy each others’ company for a little while.

Dealing with big emotions

One word of warning: if your child is currently in a bad place emotionally, don’t be surprised if they create art that expresses their negative emotions. In fact, this is absolutely healthy. Your child is using art as it is meant to be used – to express emotions that are hard to communicate using words. Your child might also be using their art as a way to test whether you can handle the full expression of their emotions. Hint: handle it! This is an essential part of healing.

Many teens find that art and writing are great ways to both express themselves and find out whether anyone (especially their parents) is paying attention to their emotional distress and can actually handle their needs.

This is a tough place to be. When you love your child, you do not want to come face to face with the ugly demons they feel inside. But remember that we all feel ugly demons sometimes, and most of the time artistic expression is not a cause for alarm. Art therapy is helpful in treating eating disorders exactly because it helps people get in touch with their feelings.

It is important that you do not express alarm at what your child creates. Instead, talk to your child about how the art makes them feel, and what they are trying to express with the art. Help them talk about their feelings.

If you are concerned, or if it appears your child is in deep distress and/or traumatized, consider sharing the artwork with your child’s eating disorder treatment team so they can help your child process the pain they are feeling.

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Ginny Jones is the founder of More-Love.org, and a Parent Coach who helps parents who have kids with eating disorders.

See Our Eating Disorder Treatment Guide For Parents